"Relationship Vs. Non-Relationship"

I’ve been involved with someone on and off since last November; lately it’s been more off as we’ve decided to cool it off due to several of our own complications that come with not only being a couple but in life…general.

It’s been a week since I last saw her and I’ve been on occasion thinking much of her but isn’t that what I should be doing? I can count on one hand the number of women I’ve been serious about. The list is even shorter for women whom I truly trust and have opened up enough to trust whole-heartedly without remorse and without regret.

I stand before you now a humble man with nothing more but yearning and desire. My “girlfriend” and I (if you can call her that) have had our issues, none of which in my opinion make for the so-called “deal breaker” yet we remain on the edge of – for now lets just call it – “insanity.”

As I’ve said, I’ve had much time to think about all this and dwell upon just what it is that keeps us apart while also creates a façade from which neither one of us wants the walls to come crumbing down to reveal the “truth.”

Maybe we are not meant for each other…any maybe I don’t want to give up that chance, however small and fleeting, that maybe we are. It’s a façade I want to have a belief in and I don’t want those walls to come crumbing down. For right now I need those walls to cling to and hold me up from day to day. At least for the time being.
But I no longer plan on waiting for someone else to knock down the walls. I plan on doing something about it so that it’s no longer a façade to hold me up but can represent a symbol of something stronger to cling to and to nurture.